What really matters in the end

Is the food, obviously. I gained a good kilogram or so during my venture to Italy. But it was a worthy kilo, made up of carbs and cheese and wine, not like the pussy weight that I put on in Japan that consists of candies and chips and midnight chocolate snacking. More and more I am convinced that I am a deathly obese fat lady with bunions and blood sugar problems living inside a pudgy asian girl just waiting to bust out. It’s happening. Slowly. I hope that I still can category as pudgy. I think I’m bordering onto chubby. Soon I will move onto being butch. Or is butch before chubby? I wonder if there is some sort of fat word measuring stick out there.

So. Here is a list I made of the favourite foods I consumed in the past two weeks. Or of any other food revelations I’ve had. They are numbered, but in no particular order. Confusing, no?

1. Spaghetti alle Vongole Bianco in Venice

Venice obviously being a seaside town, this was one of the must eats listed in every book and website for Venice. This is a simple dish of fresh clams, olive oil, garlic, Italian parsely (mainly– I hear variations include the use of white wine, tomatoes, chili peppers, other shellfish, etc). The one I had was very good and not overly oily or salty at all as I have heard complaints about online. Note to self to try this at home sometime because fresh clams are so cheap and easy to find in Japan.

2. Caprese Salad in Milan, Rome, and Florence

So, I have finally had my tomato revelation that I have been waiting so long for. I’ve always felt left out of conversations and Top Chef segments where everyone seemed to be raving about fresh tomato dishes. Ever since, I’ve been trying to make myself like raw tomatoes and it’s been a very hard journey. Italy seemed to be the perfect place to overcome my fear of the gushy, smelly, disgustingness of tomatoes and on our first day out for dinner in Milan I get the Caprese salad (top picture).

It was fabulous. Really fabulous. It was on a completely differnt level then my pathetic mini Caprese salad knock-off I mentioned in a post back in May. I love how simple this dish is– just three ingredients. I love how they call this dish a salad even though its just hunks of cheese and tomatoes (though it’s treated more as an antipasti in Italy). Anyway, The cheese here was the famed Mozzarella di Bufala Campana, which I found on many menus interestingly enough. Perhaps it is like a staple in Italy. The cheese was So good. Not rubbery and plasticky like the ones you get in Japan but actual cheese that was so rich and thick and creamy. No wonder this cheese is protected under Italian Law. And the tomatoes were these huge juicy things that really made sense to call them a Fruit. Which I always thought was odd. But it made sense at that moment. They weren’t smelly and didn’t give me that gaggy tomato feeling I always get. My bubba mentioned to me that Japanese tomatoes aren’t very good unless you pay lots of money for them… typical. I want to build a monument to this salad. Do they have cheese and tomatoes this delicious in Canada too? Notice that I have untraditionally drizzled balsamic vinegar over them, as normally this dish is dressed only with olive oil, salt, pepper, and basil to taste. But if a waiter thumps a nice bottle of balsamic vinegar next to my tomatoes, I am going to use it. I should have taken it home with me to drink out of.

Over the next two weeks I get two more of these dishes (the middle picture is from Rome, the third from Florence). I know, shoot me, I should be trying other things, not filling up on stuff I’ve already had. But I really just couldn’t get enough of this legendary cheese. And those adorable tomatoes. Every time I had it it was a little different but always delicious.

3. Octopus Salad in Venice

This was just one of those random dishes aimlessly ordered at the beginning of the meal to fill up the table that just happened to be really good. Does that ever happen? Isn’t that such a great moment? And pretty! I’m not exactly sure what the salad was seasoned with but it was perfect, I loved all the different herbs and curry scented spices that went oddly well with the sweet balsamic vinegar reduction. Cheers to Venice for the nice octopus as well. Like buttah.

4. Gnocchi with Apple Gorgonzola Cheese Sauce in Milan

I had a lot of cream-based sauce pastas in Italy and many of them deemed to be queasy and really heavy. So I was really taking a chance ordering this pasta filled withe heavy gnocchi, heavy cheese, heavy cream. But the teeny bits of apples added texture to the dish and although the apple flavour was kind of overpowered by the gorgonzola, I think they served their purpose. Oh and the overuse of Italian parsley was much appreciated.

5. Caffé Florian in Venice

I think the visit to this historical coffee bar was one of the highlights of our trip to Venice. The interior, just as seen on Aria was pretty epic, filled with expensive-looking art and velvety red sofas. Different rooms are filled with different art themes, and seeing the few cafe rooms is like visiting a tiny, quaint museum. Filled with coffee!

The cafe latte, was most definitely one of the best that I had in Italy. But that may just have been the effect of the pretty room and the 8 euro price tag on my drink. Such a perfect Aria moment.

6. 4 Leoni salad in Florence

This is one of the restaurant names I remember, mostly because it was the name of this epic salad. Rocket, avocadoes, emmantal cheese, rosted pine nuts and walnuts, and arugula pesto. It was a very interesting salad, and the pesto that dressed the salad was really delicious.

7. Cheesecake in Rome

I don’t remember where I ate this cheesecake but I’m going to flat out say that it was probably the best cheesecake I’ve ever eaten in my life. I can’t believe I just wrote that. How bold of me. I’ll probably edit it out later, such a daring statement. Most of the sweets in Italy fared to be too sweet for my modest tongue but this was so light and fluffy and airy and almost like cream. But still cheese! Still cake! The cookie at the bottom was paper thin and chewy and a little salty. The chocolate sauce on top was so rich but not disgustingly sweet. I think the sauce also had a bit of salt in it, which I thought was a nice touch. The balance that this cheesecake had was so zen, I think it could start its own religion.

8. Pizza in Naples

This was a sort of mandatory meal to have in Naples, the birthplace of pizza. As much as I complained how dirty and disgusting Naples was in my last post, I think that it was one of my favourite cities because everything I ate there happened to be delicious. And I refused to eat any pizza in this country until I arrived in Naples. Which caused some confusion back in Milan when my Bubba tried to order pizza for an appetizer to share and I started sputtering and flailing around in a seizure. He stared at me like a crazy lady as I had a tantrum and tried to explain between “OMGGGGG”s and “UGHHHH”s that there was no point in ordering pizza in Milan when you’ll be visiting the birthplace of pizza in a couple days. Right? I’m not crazy right? I mean, if you were on your way to heaven and you pass by a cheap, broken down confessional, you wouldn’t stop by to talk to the old guy in the tattered robes when you can just skip up a couple more stairs and open those golden gates and just talk to GOD, right?!

That was a lazy metaphor. I think I just keep grabbing for those elementary God metaphors because I just finished flipping through a few gigabytes of Vatican City photos for my last post. Up to my ears in Jesus! Ho ho ho.

So we ventured into the heart of Naples as I clutched my list of “Best Pizzerias in Naples” and walked until we happened to run into one of them. The particular one we came across was Di Matteo, which had rave reviews online. The reviews were proven justice with the Margherita we ordered, a whole pie for 4 euros (pictured above). Basically it was the pizza you can get at Salvatore in Japan for a third of the price. Just a simple pizza cooked in a woodfire oven with no more then five ingredients. I wish someone could open a pizzeria like this on the first floor of my apartment.

The next pizza we had in Naples was at dinner near our hotel that came highly recommended by trip advisor. To be honest, I would say the pizzas here I liked better then the legendary Di Matteo. The dough was chewy and sticky and beautiful. I think my favourite pizza is Marinera. Which is odd, considering a few years ago I laughed at the thought of a cheeseless pizza. I love the herbs and the oregano and all the smells that come out of it. Its like a pizza lullaby.

At the same restaurant, we got the Quattro Fromaggio pizza. I thought that with the three pizzas we had in Naples it was a very practical decision to have one white pizza, one red pizza, and one white and red pizza. I decided to keep to the simple menus instead of ordering any extravagant pizzas in our short time in Naples. Logical, right? I have no idea what four cheeses were on that pizza but they were all a big steaming, stinky, smoking mess. But like a really delicious one. Thank you, Naples.

9. Melons in Rome

One sleepy, rainy night in Rome, we wandered past the Italian grocery store and decided we would grab a bunch of groceries, a bottle of wine, and stay in for dinner. After wandering around the deli grabbing hams, cheeses, three different kinds of olives, a small roasted chicken and some random gross-lookin pasta, we search for dessert and approach the fruit stand. And we see these gigantic yellow melons I’ve never seen before and my bubba says to me “let’s get a melon”. I protested, arguing that melons are a little out of season, and we only had a small army knife to dissect the thing. But a couple minutes later, we wait by the register with not only our 3 euro melon, but two fresh tomatos, and a couple plums (impossible to find in Japan).

Cutting open the melon went a lot easier then I predicted, the cheap army knife slipping through the meat like butter. Which I think is a really stupid saying because if you have actually tried cutting through butter, it’s quite the bitch to get through. Unless its like, melted. After slipping off a slice for each of us, taking the first bite… was like taking a bite out of the sun. It glowed. We ate the whole melon there with hotel bath towels as bibs for the juices that ran down our chins and made disgusting ramen-eating noises. I think this was another one of my favourite eating experiences ever. Maybe because after living in Japan for three years, melons seem like sacred fruit that costs about 20 dollars for a decent one and just the extravagance of splitting one open and consuming them like barbarians… Ohh, I could really go on forever. We moved onto the bloody tomatoes next, sprinkling packets of salt and olive oil on each bite and eating them like apples. Our fingers were sticky with tomato juice, salt, oil, and melon juice, as we devoured the sugary plums finally, before washing our hands and starting on the actual dinner we got. Can you imagine? It was really a night.

10. Fiocchetti di Pera in Florence

I think this was my favourite pasta I had in Italy, hands down. I probably ordered this dish after loving the gorgonzola and apple gnocchi, looking for another pasta/fruit combination, and this one proved to be even better. It was really cute to look at, to start. The fioccheti were like little knobs, or purses of fresh pasta filled with sweet pears. The sauce was a taleggio cheese sauce that went so well with the sweetness of the pears. There were also bits of asparagus in the sauce, that acted like a little cleanser between bites of pasta so all that cheese cream didn’t make you feel sick. It was such a light, pretty dish. A perfect sweet-savoury dish. Oh I wish I could eat this again one day.

11. Paninis everywhere

Another thing I wish that I could regularly eat are hot paninis. Usually for lunch as we walked around, we could pick up a decent sandwich on almost every street corner. And I don’t think bad sandwiches exist in Italy because I never happened to come across one. The picture above is a roast pork and bell pepper hot panini that was pressed in the grill right before we walked outside with it. The outside was so crispy and hot and the pork was lean but juicy and the bell peppers were tangy. It was such a good sandwich for walking outside in the cold. But I will forever regret not taking a picture of my favourite sandwich I had in Italy, right by the Florence train station. A ham and cheese sandwich. To be specific, it was a cold sandwich with parma ham and a cheese I couldn’t identify, sandwiched between two thin slices of focaccia with olives baked into them. I think this is the first time I really liked parma ham, as I could never get over the feeling of eating raw pork. Though its cured and dried, it is still considered raw. But this sandwich was EPIC. The ham was soft and tore off in strips as you ate so you would be slurping up bits with every bite you took. Which sounds kind of gross but it was really fantastic. And you forgot about the grossness of the raw ham because it was taken away by that beautiful stinky cheese. I’m going to guess it was an emmantel cheese, sliced thin, but I’m probably wrong. Oh and the olives baked in the bread were perfect. Like pickles in a hamburger, but better, because they were olives.

12. Bistecca alla Fiorentina

I realized I had little meat dishes in my list of favourite dishes, though I suppose I enjoyed almost all the ones we had. Probably because the salads and the pastas and the pizzas seemed to overpower the meat in my head. They seem so much prettier and delicate then a big hunk of steak. Or lamb. My bubba had the lamb. I was not a fan. When I tried some, he made sheep noises across the table from me with the novelty Mahh-ing sheeplight keychain that dangles from my wallet (credit goes to Hana for that charming memory). Anyway, the most memorable steak we had was in Florence, where we had the highly acclaimed Bistecca alla Fiorentina, a T-bone steak served as a minimum of 1 kilogram and very rare. As we ordered it, the waiter explained to us in broken English, “Bloody, blood, blood, ok?” Well ok. Though it really wasn’t that bad. We guessed that the nice people in the kitchen assumed we were a couple of timid asian folk and cooked it a soft medium rare. Also, they gave us a 700 gram serving instead of the minimum 1 kilogram when I asked for the smallest one they had (which was thankful, as they charge about 6 euros for every 100 grams). As steaks go, this was a pretty good one, which was no surprise as this was the same restaurant that had the pear pasta I loved. I thought it was nice that steaks come with a side of lemon and salt, to taste, instead of some sort of corny steak sauce you would except in many western institutions. I apologize for the crappy picture quality, as the lights were dimmed to create a romantic atmosphere. Because everyone gets horny in the dark.

13. Tarts in Rome, Limoncello in Venice, Sfogliatelle in Naples

This is kind of my “honorable mention” section. Because I think the following treats deserve some sort of recognition even though they lack the fanfare of the items listed above.

These little tarts in Rome were given to us by some nice waiter in a little trattoria on the outskirts of Vatican City. I believe it was because it was a busy night and sitting next to us were a group of overenthusiastic Chinese tourists that screamed when they talked, got really drunk, threw food at each other and had to be told to settle down a couple times. It was actually kind of entertaining but the staff seemed genuinely irritated. I wish I had videotaped what they were saying in Italian and asked someone on youtube to translate. I could have maybe started some Chinese-Italian international social war. But the food was good, and these little tarts were so adorable. The filling was a sweet ricotta cheese cream, and the sour little baby strawberries looked like Disney characters. So cute.

Lemons seemed to be one of those trademark Italian fruits, and limoncello was a popular after dinner shot-like drink. I’m not a fan of one-shot drinks after being babied by the overly-diluted cocktails in Japan but this one was actually kind of tolerable. I think I liked how it has such a sweet, lemony, aftertaste. Behind it sits a shot of my bubba’s Grappa, which also seemed to be a popular Italian digestivo. I’m not sure what it is, or what it’s made of, but it tasted pretty toxic.

I truly, truly regret not taking the picture of the sfogliatelle pastry we had in Naples the morning we left for Rome. It was rush time and we grabbed a bunch of pastries and ate on the train. Here is a wikipedia article so you can get an idea of what this pastry is like, but it was really pretty. The one I had was filled with a cream that wasn’t too sweet, topped with powdered sugar, and a strawberry. It was so crispy and sweet and interesting and perfect. And PRETTY! I’m so mad I never took that picture.

I think this is marking the near conclusion of my food post.In the end, I would say that much of the food in Italy was appropriately epic. I would recommend thoroughly researching restaurants to go to beforehand. Ask your hotel receptionist for recommendations. My restaurant research before our trip was well planned out from Milan to Naples, but kind of dwindled down in Rome when I started getting tired and lazy. So the eating experience in Rome suffered accordingly (including a Spaghetti alle Carbonara I had that was so bathed in fat and cream and oil that I promptly experienced mild red belly the morning after consumption. “You don’t have to eat all of it if its so disgusting.”  “Ohh but I feel so bad. I can just choke it down with some wine”).

I also recommend that if you’re low on time or money, avoid the touristy places that offer you a set of pasta, water, and coffee for eight euros or so. Get a sandwich instead. Tide yourself over with some fresh pastries. Drink lots of cappucinos.

What I regret, is not eating more desserts, not taking note of the names of all the restaurants I went to (much of my sparknotes were lost, destroyed, or thrown out with other receipts), not being a more sophisticated sommelier (I still, for the life of me, cannot tell the difference between one wine from another. Perhaps I’m not mature enough. The only thing I could judge was “oh this one reeks of alcohol”  and  “oh, I can down this one like soda” ..What a waste), not taking higher quality pictures of the meals I had, and lastly–not eating more. I wish I could have shoved more shit into this body. My bulldozer days are long gone, and it’s going to take some more training to get my stomach back to its former elasticity.

So after two weeks of cold turkey on Japanese cuisine (yes, we refused to surrender and hide out in a Japponaise Ristorante to gorge on rice as we saw many other tourists do), we arrive at the Nagoya airport and the first thing I ask my bubba is:

“You know what I really want to eat?”

And he guesses, “Pasta? Pizza? Coffee?” Funny.

“I want to eat some fucking curry.”

So we dropped off our luggage, ran to the nearest Cocoichi, and for the first time in three years I voluntarily eat curry rice.

It was really fuckin delicious. This is how our trip to Italy ended.

What I learned about Italy

So this being my first time in a country that isn’t Asia or the Americas I suppose I was bound to experience a bit of culture shock. Which is the fun part of travel right? Makin fun of everyone cuz they different bro. I saw that most of Italy was just reminiscent of Canada, except there is a lot more people speaking Italian and a lot less brown people. The only brown people in Italy are the suspicious ones selling counterfeit bags and overpriced umbrellas (a tip for those traveling to Europe in the future. Do not, and really, DO NOT go out in the rain without an umbrella. Even if it is drizzling. Even if it seems like only maybe it will rain. Not because you will get wet, that doesn’t really matter. But because you will be raped up the ass on every street corner by desperate umbrella-wielding salesmen until you are naked and trembling and foaming at the mouth, or buying a goddamned umbrella. JUST TAKE ONE WITH YOU). So in no particular order, I give you my educational Italian experience.

#1. Everyone is tall.

Though it may not seem like it, this is an action shot, and I am jumping in this picture. This was the closet of our first hotel in Milan. Neither me or my bubba were able to reach the hangers in the room without batting at them like a sad kitty cat. And those hangers weren’t the only things out of reach– store counters (mostly display counters), oddly placed handles to flush toilets (troublesome), coffee bar counters (embarassing), and even doorknobs stood at an uncomfortable height. I think this is their way of saying that Asians are not welcome in their country. Unless you bring an oversized white boyfriend to accompany your travels. Hopefully, he will be willing to come and flush the toilet for you.

#2. Italians are obsessed with their water.

You sit down in any restaurant and the first question you are always asked is, “Gas or no gas?”. They are talking about water. For some reason, these people really love their water. Maybe because they have an abundance of it. And oh boy do they really love to show it off. We see one extravagant fountain

after another..

after another..

after another.

We even see some gangsta water in the department stores.

(If you look closely you can see that one bottle costs 89 euros. And water snobs think they’re so hot drinking bottles of Fiji)

And then after you think you’ve had enough.. you get to Venice.

OK. WE GET IT. YOU HAVE WATER. Go brag to some desert.

#3 . The garbage bags look like colorful condoms.

Used ones.

#4. Venice is sinking.

I’m not sure if you can really see from this picture, but yes, Venice is sinking. During our vaporetto ride along the Grand Canal, you can see that most of the buildings along it are about halfway underwater. Well maybe not halfway. Probably a couple feet. But give it a few years. Can you imagine the mold damage in those houses? Their carpets must be ruined.

You can see in this picture the ramps that have been set up in St. Mark’s Square. We visited Venice right about the time where Aqua Alta was starting, and some of the town was underwater. My feet got a bit wet, but it was worth it to experience an Aria moment like no other. Wish I brought my rubber boots and blue-eyed cat though.

#5. Naples is dirty.

One of the biggest things I regret on this trip is not taking better pictures of the garbage in Naples. Because from this one picture, you really can’t tell the magnificance of all the garbage in this city. It’s not some cutesy garbage, like gum on your shoe or doggy poop on the street. The garbage in Naples come in great big, piles of art that are taller then I am. There are mountains of gum to be stuck to your shoe and human feces strewn across pedestrian sidewalks (yes. I can tell the difference). This city is the apotheosis of street garbage. Oddly, one of the things I really loved about Naples. Except for the wet tissues. Grossness. I would take human feces over wet tissues any day. Just one of those things I can’t stand.

#6. Italian maps bully tourists.

Almost every single map we came across in a train station, or a mall, or a street, anywhere, refused to indicate our current location. WTF is the point of a map when you don’t know where the hell you are? Which is why I thought the above map was so funny. This can be found in Roma Termini where I assume some frustrated traveler drew some helpful graffiti.

#7. Jesus is everywhere.

It turns out that Italy is the birthplace of the Roman Catholic religion and the entire country is swarming with Catholic paraphernalia. Not limited to churches and cathedrals, visiting any art gallery in the country is like playing a Where’s Waldo Jesus version. After awhile we got tired and just assumed that every baby and guy with a beard was Jesus and every lady was Mary.

Up on the ceiling!

There on the wall!

Over here with mum

Ridin’ a cripple

Hangin’ on the roof

And yes. He’s even on the web.

“Dude you totally get around. You’re like bigger then Santa, man!”

“Hey, a Messiahs gosta do what a Messiahs gosta do.”

#7. The Pope was a Nazi.

Well, kind of. He was conscripted into the Hitler Youth group at the impressionable age of 14 in which all articles pertaining to this insist that he was an “unenthusiastic member”. Hm. Well I suppose it was a very un-popey thing to be forced into doing. But interesting, no?

#8. There is a floor number Zero.

Which confused us to no end when the receptionist kept insisting that our room was “On the First floor, just take the lift.” I had to run outside to see what floor we were on. Apparently, we were on the zeroeth floor. Silly me.

So I hope that summed up my travels around Italy for everyone. Please look forward to my food post.

My Journey to Europe

So I thought that a trip to Italy should warrant my first blog posting in a long while. It is a good way to spread my stories and  pictures I took without having to attach each and every one of them to every email I compose because everybody knows how often Hotmail likes to screw that up.

To sum up my trip, we started with two days in Milan, then two days in Venice, three in Florence, two in Naples and finished with three days in Rome. The weather was about 20 or so degrees on average, warmer in the southern cities, rainy in the northern cities.

Now the first thing I must reveal to everyone is that Italy is FAR. Europe, in fact, is FAR. We started off in Japan, flew to Korea, and tranferred straight to Italy. See, I thought this whole journey would take maybe about 4, 5 hours tops. Maybe about 7 or 8 hours total if you include the tranferring in between. Strolling down the travelator in Korea, I asked my bubba about how long the next flight to Italy would be and he casually answered “about 12 hours I think.” And I LOLed. How stupid does he think I am? So not falling for that. Like the time I was told that dolphins aren’t really mammals, but just a really large, intelligent type of fish called a Smartfish. Like a Smartphone. (“REALLY? I swear I saw in a documentary once…”  “BAHAHAHA you should see the look on your face when you say REALLY?! Its priceless!”) Or that time I found that Japan and Korea used to be a single country until Germany separated them during World War II because Koreans were mostly Jewish (“What, really? I didn’t know there were such thing as Korean Jews.”  “Yeah, they were all wiped out back in the war.”  “Ahh, I see…”  “BAHAHAHA STUPID you’ll believe ANYTHING!!”). So yeah. 12 hour flight my Jewish Korean ass. It took about twenty full minutes and an explanation of the global time difference system for me to understand that the flight really was going to be 12 hours. WTF.

“OMG I thought that it would only take about 5 hours or so. WTF am I going to do for 12 hours? Thats as long as a trip to Canada..”

“I TOLD you. I don`t understand why it’s so difficult to understand. Haven’t you seen a world map before?”

“I didn’t bring a toothbrush… Or makeup remover. I’m going to have old makeup on my face for 12 hours. My face is going to breakout.”

“Oh, for flights to Europe they usually have small showers in the plane. Since the flight is so long.”

“Really? That sounds so dirty. The bathrooms are bad enough. I`ve never been on a plane with showers though..”

“BAHAHAHA JUST KIDDING HAHAHAHA!!”

So that’s how our trip started out. A really long flight.

I had an EGG-CELLENT TIME the other day.

GAHAHHAHAAAHAHAHAAHAAAHAHA THAT NEVER GETS FUCKING OLD

So it happened about a week ago. I looked into the fridge one night and realized that the ten eggs in my refridgerator were to be expired the next day. Did I ever mention that eggs are sold in tens in Japan, not in dozens? Ridiculous right? It is quite unbelieveable. But you better believe it.

So, I`m not really a person that`s particularly picky about consuming old foods, but I happen to live with someone who thinks its a personal attack against them if I ever try to serve anything a few hours past its expiration date. Or provide dirty chopsticks. Or leave surprise bones in fish.

But how to consume ten eggs in one day?

Six eggs for breakfast!

Hard-boiled and deviled. They are seasoned with mayonnaise, sharp cheddar cheese, honey mustard, and paprika. The original recipe also calls for bacon but I decided to go without for financial reasons.

Side dishes included a quick asparagus and sausage pan-fry dish. These sausages were actually very expensive (400 yen for 6 weiners) as they were gourmet Lime and Black Pepper Sausages. They were pretty yum.

Also slices of garlic toast. This was special because I made the garlic butter myself– minced garlic, garlic powder, onion powder, and regular butter topped with dried parsley. All baked on top of leftover bread that wasn`t really garlic-bread appropriate, but was still good. Afterwards I kicked myself for not using the leftover cheese on top from the deviled eggs.

Going on, two eggs for lunch!

Made into a quick and simple bread pudding. I cut a loaf of buttered raisin bread into cubes and doused them with some nutmeg and a whole lot of cinnamon sugar. This is soaked in a mixture of eggs, sugar, vanilla extract, and hot milk. After the custard sets, slices of bananas are added and baked in the oven for a half hour. It`s hot, staying, and good. I also dusted them with icing sugar before serving but the picture was taken before that. Sorry.

And finally, two eggs for dinner!

Omurice, of course. On the inside is rice fried with curry powder, chicken, onions, shiitake mushrooms, and fresh parsley. I realized that sauces cover up most flavours of rice, especially the timid ketchup-dressed rice found in typical omurice recipes. I found using curry adds a bit of a kick and spice without feeling like you`re eating a big bowl of curry. Also, a good tip for the ingredients is to simmer them in a bouillon soup base for awhile to really seep in some flavour. The sauce I used is a store bought demi glace sauce so I can`t really take credit for that, but I can absolutely take credit for the butter-cream white sauce drizzled on top.

Accompanying was a non-egg side dish– a mini caprese salad. It was really quite adorable, with the little baby tomatoes and the teeny balls of mozzarella. After coming home I realized that my cheap bottle of balsamic vinegar had dried up so I used a basil sauce and some salt and pepper. I`m not a fan of tomatoes but this was not terrible. This was part of my training to help me not dislike tomatoes no more. Huh?

And now, I have no eggs. Success! Except for the cod roe in the top drawer of my fridge, the little flea larvae in the bottom of my garbage can, and the unfertilized ones in my uterus. EGG-STRAORDINARY!

I bought two days worth of bread.

Some little girls like to go on shopping sprees, but I am just fine with a bread spree at Vie de France. Let me introduce you to my friends.

Melon Flavoured Melon Bread

I wish my cellphone camera was of a better quality so you could see how absolutely green this bread was. The outside was a glossy cookie and the inside was a chewy green dough. It was filled with a honey dew melon flavoured cream as well as a dollop of fluffy whipped cream. I love the whipped cream because it wasn`t sweet at all and only served to provide richness to the sweet melon cream. I give it 7.8 stars. There is a 92% chance of me consuming this product again.

Custard Cream Bread

A ressurection from last spring! I remember how disappointed I was last year when they stopped making this product, I even interrogated the baker if it would come back again and when. I hope it was me that scared them into bringing it back this year. The mildly sweet custard is a little similar to egg tarts you see at Chinese dim sum but much softer and milkier. The bread underneath is a pillowy brioche. I give it 8.1 stars and there is a 89% chance of me consuming this product again.

Tomato and Bacon Panini

Today was my first time eating this bread. She had always caught my eye during all my bread conquests, but costing 300 yen, I usually gave her up for something cheaper. But today, I can tell you that the 300 yen is completely worth it. Ingredients include mozzarella cheese, a generous strip of smoked bacon, tomatoes, shiso leaves, sour cream, and a spicy tomato sauce with ground beef. For 300 yen! It all went very well together and I especially loved the addition of the shiso. I give it 9.1 stars and there is a 96% chance of me consuming this product again. I`ve been craving for more since my last bite, so much that I plan to buy some more tomorrow, weather permitting.

Honey Fromage

This is a relatively new product that came out early this year. I had always been meaning to try it but was always sold out by the time I got to the bakery after work. It is an interesting combination of chewy dough that has sweet honey folded into it with a salty cheese topping. I really love finding good savoury-sweet items and this one really hit the mark. After warming this up in the microwave before eating, the room was filled with a  milky honey smell. Yum. I give this bread 7.7 stars and there is a 70% chance of me consuming this product again.

Angel Soft

This is a regular buy for me at Vie de France. I remember this was one of the first bakery items I ever bought after moving to Japan and thinking that it was wtfomgepic. The dough is light and fluffy and inside is a perfect combination of rare cheese cream and sweet apples cooked soft enough for my grandma-teeth but still crispy enough to generate some texture. I especially love the slices of almonds sitting on top with a dusting of flour. I give this bread 9.2 stars and there is a 96% chance of me consuming this product again.

Wiener Roll

This is the Vie de France version of a sausage roll, with a topping of ketchup, mayonnaise, and parsley. Before eating this I prefer heating it up in the microwave to make a small hot meal. I`m not a fan of how the baked mayonnaise smells after being heated but the soft bread roll that has a little sweetness to it that I love with this combination of ingredients. I give this 6.9 stars and there is a 89% chance of me consuming this product again.

Three Cheese

At 300 yen, this is another product thats a little pricey, but understandable because it is about double the size of any other bread in the bakery. Baked inside are small chunks of camembert, gouda, and swiss cheese, which would also explain the price. The best part is for me is the gouda that is mildly smelly as I am a fan of smelly cheeses lately. Although I`m still not mature enough to handle the super pungent hardcore blue cheeses. The dough of this bread also has a modest sweetness to it and turns cotton candy soft when warmed up. I love serving this for dinner as a side for cream-based stews and pastas. I give this 7.9 stars and there is a 82% chance of me consuming this product again.

This marks the end of my bread adventure. As a side note, on the way home I bought strawberry-scented toilet paper.

After 4 Months, 2 Weeks, and 4 Days…

I… I`ve finally done it.

Dating Myself

Today I had a Haircut Pasta date by myself as the Bubba was out drinking and working. Hurray! Advantages of being alone include–

- Not having to speak.

- Eating what I please.

- Staring at a menu for twenty minutes without being pressured to order quickly.

- Consuming steaming hot food without worrying that my makeup is melting off my face.

- Not having to be embarrassed of all the food stuck on my face and clothes after I eat.

The list goes on. Unfortunately, there is also one huge disadvantage that often discourages me from dating myself.

- I have to pay.

Tonight I went to Kamakura Pasta, a middle-class restaurant dedicated to Japanizing Italian cuisine by making us eat spaghetti with chopsticks and taking our shoes off to sit in booths. However, the pasta is actually very decent and they have many interesting menu items. I had the Blue Cheese and Emmental Cheese Cream Pasta with Salmon from their seasonal menu.  Emmental cheese is a yummy type of Swiss cheese that is soft and mild, but the huge chunks of hot, stinky, blue cheese in the pasta were definitely the highlight.  You may think that blue cheese and salmon roe wouldn`t go together but it was pungent and delicious, especially served with fresh pasta. It probably would have been an even more delicious experience if I could eat with a fork and my feet weren`t cold.

Also, a picture of my 15 dollar haircut. Classy girl. Although there was also a 40 dollar hair treatment involved that made my ends so smooth I wanted to eat them.

My fever is currently at 38.2 degrees. It has been going up at a steady rate of about 0.4 degrees every hour for the past three hours. In a few more I will be either crazy, or dead. Or HOT HOT HOT!

Dinner in 30 minutes

But still looking decent. If only I had a third burner it would have taken half the time. Someday when I am rich I will have a whole room full of ovens and burners and stoves and cook everything at once so I can make a three hour meal in twenty minutes. And I will be so rich that every time I burn the kitchen down I will have enough money to buy a new house to live in with even more ovens and burners and stoves. My kitchen will just grow stronger and more efficient each time I burn it down, much like a reptile that sheds its skin.

Asparagus wrapped with sliced pork.

I prefer using slices of pork belly because the fat helps mold the meat together and keep it from falling apart. After sauteeing them in their own fat for awhile soy sauce is added in the pan for flavour. The outside is crispy and the asparagus is juicy when cooked correctly.

Vegetables in a spicy miso sauce with ground beef.

I cheated on this dish with the help of this useful product. It provides the sauce so all I do is cut up eggplant, green peppers and carrots and sautee them with the ground meat. This is a spin on mapo tofu that has been Japanesed by some random vegetables instead of tofu. And yes, those carrots are cut in little heart shapes. To make up for the love that was lost in the store-bought sauce.

Simmered dried daikon and atsuage.

Dried strips of daikon are sold at a very low price, then soaked in water for a few minutes. Then sauteed along with the atsuage in sesame seed oil and simmered in soy sauce, mirin, sake, and sugar. This was the first time I used the dried daikon, and I declare it quite foolproof. Sprinkled on top is an exciting discovery I made lately–

Yuzu flavoured shichimi. It`s horribly delicious and almost gone because I use it on everything. This was the last touch on my 30 minute meal. I should have my own show on the food network. They could call it “30 Minutes with an Amateur Asian Chick”. Oh yes, there was also a salad involved in this meal that wasn`t interesting enough to get its own corner.

Exciting things oh March.

March 11th, my Bubbas birthday. Which calls for parties! And fireworks! And disco balls! And obviously an elaborate meal! It had to be really elaborate because I couldn`t get my hands on any fireworks or disco balls.

Dinner was diced steak with grated daikon, chicken karaage, and assorted sashimi. Three entrees in one dinner! It was a lot of protein for one meal and made for good leftovers the next day.

The dessert appetizer (I made up that concept. Pre-dessert dessert. First dessert. Fat kid`s dream) was chocolate covered strawberries. This was really easy to make and simple and yum. I used Ghana milk chocolate that resulted in the chocolate hardening nicely after it cooled but was still soft and creamy.

Dessert entree was homemade apple pie. Birthday Pie! I used frozen pie sheets to mold the crust and do some amateur lattice work. I wished i made the slices thinner to get a prettier lattice but I was a bit short on time. Rush pie. Here is the before–

And after! It was served with a scoop of Lady Borden Vanilla and received rave reviews.

March 14th was White Day. The day when the men give back to the women. A genius Hallmark conspiracy. A cheap Japanese version of it, and the idea is really quite sad.

“Happy Valentine`s day hot boy! Here is a box of chocolates that I slaved over through the night because I want to impress you and ward off any other potential mates.”

“Thank you enthusiastic chick, I`ll let you know next month if I`m in to you.” Wtf.

So I was told I would be treated to my fantasy meal, anything I want. What would you say? Steak? Sushi? A twelve course meal? Not me, I went with okonomiyaki, pancakes made with refrigerator leftovers that you have to cook yourself. That`s because I`m a classy lady.

I had the mentaiko-mochi okonomiyaki with green onions and kimchi and lots of mayonnaise. This joint was actually pretty classy, because the staff cook the okonomiyaki for you. They take your order and you wonder why it takes so long to mix up some raw ingredients, and they come over with a pan and the ready-made okonomiyaki and drop it on the grill. Apparently only there to keep the meal warm. I think I actually prefer it this way because I have unextraordinary hand-eye coordination and the ones I cook usually end up as elaborate blobs with lots of raw regions. The best part of the meal was watching the table next to us. Two excited foreigners and their eager Japanese escort explaining to them in broken english the fun of cooking your own okonomiyaki yay! The looks on their faces as the waitress dropped the pancake on the table was priceless, really. Best White Day Ever.

March 19th, yesterday was a release event for their new single; S/mileage! There was a mini-live and a handshake event offered to those who purchased the single. Would you pay eight dollars to swap germs with 4 pretty middle school girls? TOTALLY. I was actually one of the less enthusiastic participants. There were people determined to sell out the event and bought over twenty CDs. And they lined up over and over and over again to shake hands with the kiddies. Everytime they go, they say a little comment to the girls and maybe after 20 runs, you can actually call it a conversation. Which is difficult to do because standing on the line of fire are members of their agency who force the guests to quickly finish their handshake and move on. You would think that`s not really neccesary, but you wouldn`t believe the number of fans that try to exchange long, meaningful words with the girls, or even worse, the ones that try to pet their soft, soft hands for as long as possible. Yum.

If I forgot to mention it, they were really, really adorable.

March 20th, today, I caved and bought myself one of those oversized plastic frame glasses. I told myself I would never succumb to this trend because what`s the point of glasses that aren`t prescription or shade you from the sun? Fashion glasses. Ugh. Actually they have UV protection, so maybe that counts for something. And I chose a pair that weren`t ridiculously huge so I wouldn`t have to take them off before meals or shaking my head to say no. And see how happy I look.

Time to herd some wild boars.

This is what I have been waiting for.

The new spring line-up for Häagen-Dazs ice cream flavours. This is what I have been waiting for, all winter long. Regularly checking the Häagen-Dazs website and frozen foods section at the grocery store at the beginning of every season, This is what I wait for. Here we are, kids.

Cookies & Sesame Cream

I`ve had the Häagen-Dazs black sesame ice cream in store (which is not for sale in individual cups) and this white sesame is similar in taste, but much milder. I personally prefer the hardcore nuttiness of the black sesame. The cookies in this are a graham cookie, I believe the same one used in the Maple Cookie flavour released last winter. I give it 6.4 stars. There is a 37% chance of me consuming this product again.

Honey Milk

I had very high expectations of this new flavour as I usually love everything that is honey and milk. I can`t say that it particularly blew my expectations out of the water, but it did blow something out of the water. The honey had a very rich flavour reminiscent of actual honeycomb. Mixed with the buttery milk, it had a very pungent taste. But a good pungent taste. With a really strong aftertaste. But it was a yummy aftertaste. I give it 7.8 stars. There is a 81% chance of me consuming this product again.

If anyone wants reference for my star system, 10 star flavours include Bitter Caramel, English Milk Tea, and Melon (only available in the summer).

The beginning of April there will be the third and last release of the season, Cookie & Green Tea. Meh.